Indecisive Me

There’s nothing I enjoy more than throwing items out of my room, my drawers and my life. Whether it’s paper or fabric, clutter is my personal deal breaker in whatever form, and I have no choice but to eliminate it. Admittedly, I often act on a whim, using my emotions rather than rational thought. Many numbers, texts and photos, (delete as applicable), have been removed and later restored when my erratic sensitive side has gotten the better of me. Like when I start to think ‘all dudes are pricks’, and wipe any physical imprint they have in my life at the time. The starting place usually being your text inbox and sent messages, but I tend to go that one irrational step further and delete phone numbers. (Usually to save myself humiliation at a later time). So with such a strict no-junk policy is it any wonder that I constantly have a gaping void in my wardrobe? And why my clothes only seem to have a shelf-life of a year before they’re hurled neckline first into the bottom of a plastic bag marked ‘charity’? My one friend tells me I have issues, but for a head that’s constantly flicking through the fashion pages of Glamour mag, the flamboyant ensembles in my head never match the clothes on my back. I’ve hit a style snag starting August 15th – my 21st birthday.

Like most young women my age, I like to experiment with hair, makeup and fashion. I call myself “low maintenance”, which just to clarify, does not equate to “cheap”, but I’m not exempt from the subconscious pressure to look my best. I’m also aware that on many occasions I look far from, but with that many looks to choose from I don’t know whether I’m going into Footlocker for a pair of Adidas Mids or strolling into Cow for a floral print skirt. Not to mention the extortion attached to such items. So to ease the mental chaos I tend to go for my favourite which is ‘cool, loose and relaxed’.

Let me visually explain to you guys the turmoil that I’m in…

Sometimes I would love to look like this…chic and sophisticated…

But with my hair and afrocentric alter ego, I think I’d be more suited to this…

However, I’m still trying to be a cool kid…

But I can’t resist effortless and slightly loose.

I know your 20s are the time to wear what the hell you like. I mean, our bodies will never look this great again, but I don’t handle choice well, and if I don’t sort my style out soon it will stay in disarray forever. So what the f*** do I do? Wear it all?

7 Responses to “Indecisive Me”
  1. YuzuHoney says:

    Don’t worry about turning 21-I’m 27 and I still go through this! When I was 21 I was still a poor college student and really couldn’t afford a lot of the clothes I wanted. Well, now I have a full-time job, and though I have the funds, I don’t have as many chances to wear all the clothes I want because I have to dress somewhat conservatively 5 days of the week. Anyway, don’t put yourself in the box of dressing one particular way or another, especially when you’re so young!

  2. I completely understand where you are coming from. When I was your age, I bought anything and everything I liked, not giving much thought to how it would look. And like you, I regularly made trips to the charity shop to get rid of the items I was so desperate to get in the first place, trying to make space for what was going to be the next best thing whether it look good or not! However, the key thing you must remember is that fashion is a learning curve, and to some degree, what you set out to achieve is not alway going to happen the way you envisage it and that is ok because you are young, fresh and open to the world. I struggle even now for I have shaved my hair, and since doing that, certain items in my wardrobe that I would never hesitate to wear, have now taken a back seat in the bottom of the wardrobe to make an appearance when the time is right. I am 31 years old and I am still learning and discovering new things about my body, my personality and attitude to the world; all of which are contributing factors to my sense of style. The truth is, this is the time to experiment and accept you are not always going to achieve the looks you want, nor will they look good just because the magazine says so; just try to do!

  3. Sorry, I meant to say, just try to do you!

    • Vicky says:

      So this is going to continue for at least another 10-years??! Oh my! lol Thank you so much for the comment, my style definitely is a learning curve right now, but it seems that is the case for most women!

  4. samsie says:

    Aww..sweetie ..I’ll be back to comment

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