Me, Myself and I

At this particular moment I have a huge grey cloud of dread looming over me as I’m about to lay out all my cards on the table and take part in some, very public, self-reflection. But spurred on by a few meaningful conversations I’ve had recently, I feel like I need to get this out there. It may actually do someone some good, and besides a bit of embarrassment never hurt anyone.

As I keep being reminded in one way or another, “I’m not a ‘girl’ anymore.” (That’s a reference to you- Friend B) And just to clarify, no I haven’t had some secret gender-reassignment op, I’m simply moving out of the realms of Kidulthood to Adulthood– much to my dislike. I mean I was perfectly fine playing Barbie’s with Hayley            and being kicked out of the room when my brother’s friends came over-who doesn’t occasionally miss the innocence of their childhood? But as with anything, it’s only lasts for a time, and time has moved rapidly ahead.

So skipping a decade or so, the big 2-0 lies in waiting for me, so I’m guessing I should have it all figured out now? Hmm I wish I did. I’m still a novice at applying make-up- sort of more Bob the Builder than Picasso with an applicator brush, I flutter between feeling blessed with my athletic shape and utterly ashamed of my less-than-afro-caribbean behind    and as much as I loathe the fact that I’m still a single gal, in actual fact nothing scares me more than being in a relationship.

Right, I know I probably sound like one of those erratic females most make an effort to avoid, and hopefully I haven’t completely ruined my dating prospects, but the point I’m trying to make is that this journey of self-discovery lasts a lifetime. Just like many other females either younger or older than myself, I’m still learning about me. In some way my confidence takes a beating everyday and I could most likely fill a book with all my self-made inadequacies, but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day! And neither will finding myself, but it will happen and I look forward to it.   

 

 

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Comments
2 Responses to “Me, Myself and I”
  1. i luv it loool…preachh!

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